Eliminating Conflict by Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries
authors
Robert J. MacKenzie Ed.D.
data
Product: Book ISBN-10: 0-7615-2136-4 ISBN-13: 9780761521365 Publisher: Three Rivers Press Country: Year: January 2001 Edition: 1 Size: 13.97 x 21.34 x 1.78cm Number of pages: 288 Weight: 295gr Binding: Paperback
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Product Description Now You Can Effectively Parent Your Strong-Willed Child
Does your child constantly misbehave and ignore or refuse your requests for proper behavior? Is your relationship with your child based on conflict instead of mutual respect and cooperation? With the help of this groundbreaking book, you can create a positive, respectful, and rewarding relationship with your child.
Inside are proven techniques and procedures that provide a refreshing alternative to the ineffective extremes of punishment and permissiveness. Parents and teachers alike will discover how to effectively motivate the strong-willed child and achieve proper conduct. You will learn how to:
·Understand and empathize without giving in
·Hold your ground without threatening
·Remove daily power struggles between you and your child
·Give clear, firm messages that your child understands and respects
·And much more!
»Eminently useful and readable! This book should be a part of every parent's and school's reference library.« —Judy E. Hunt-Brown, principal, Elk Grove Unified School District
»A grand book that teaches everybody in the family new skills and encourages more peaceful, socially acceptable lives at home, school, in the office, or in any social group.« —Barbara O'Donnell, principal, St. Francis Elementary School
»A highly recommended eye-opener; beautifully documented.« —Stewart E. Teal, M.D., clinical professor of child psychiatry, University of California, Davis
reviews
Very helpful guide for typical, yet challenging kid
I think this book is extremely practical, fair and a good guide for anyone who has a boy (or girl) that may be driving you to the brink. I have a five year old boy, who is quite normal, but we definitely do the »dance« as the author so aptly describes the escalation of ineffective discipline. My boy is bright and terrific yet he TESTS me endlessly and when he hit age 5, things were becoming quite contentious very quickly. I'm not even finished yet, but already have modified my discipline approach and it has worked every time. It will take the angst, guilt and worry out of the choices you have to make AND just as importantly, makes it easier for the child to make his/her choice while avoiding painful, sometimes tear provoking episodes. I strongly recommend it for someone who is just looking for practical, supportive guidance. I can already tell that I will benefit from having read this when my second son (2 1/2) gets to this stage.
great book
Learn how to be a better parent is the greatest gift we can give our children
A Moment of Peace: Relaxation for Parents AudiobookA Moment of Peace: Relaxation for Children
This rocks !!!!
As an educator and Author of Black belt Parenting I can really appreciate the effort and wisdom of this book
thank youBlack Belt Parenting
Huge Help!
My child is three and I have been reading about the strong willed child in many different forms for quite some time. I have taken a bit of advice from each book, as none of them has been on target; until now. This book has the strong willed child pegged, as well as the parent. We only know what we experience in our own lives. We are accustomed to how we were brought up and the discipline and consequences we were taught. Well, that wasn't working for MY child. The more I, or anyone else, for that matter, yelled and got worked up, the more she resisted. When I learned clear, firm boundaries, ones that she could understand the IMMEDIATE, consequences of, the easier it got. I believe it is based on the old saying »say what you mean and mean what you say« … follow through and consistency is the key. My three year old is night and day from when I started reading this book. I am teaching my husband what I have learned and hope that he, too, will read and understand how to deal with her strong will. I am so grateful to my Mother's friend who recomended this book to me after reading it herself for her strong willed boy. I am passing it on to my girlfriend who needs it now. Stay strong, stay focused, stay consistent. They (the children) deserve every shot they can be given in life. Be the PARENT and guide them to success!!!
It Works
I started reading this book on a Thursday and noticed positive changes in just a few days after implementing some of the ideas from the book at home. I really wish I had read this book when my children were younger.
One of the reasons I bought the book is because it is research based. The author started out researching how effective teachers handled classroom discipline and then eventually wrote a book for parents using similar techniques at home that worked in the classroom. The basic idea is that strong willed children are always testing so you need to have firm boundaries established with clear consequences for misbehavior.
There is a best selling business book out currently called Getting Things Done, and the Setting Limits has some similar concepts applied to parenting. One of the main concepts of Getting Things Done is to have systems in place for all of you business processes. To implement the ideas well in Setting Limits you need to have well defined system in place for all of your child's behavior issues.
For example, if your child has issues with curfew times, then put a rule in place regarding curfew with rewards and consequences and then stick to it. Your child's reward for for getting home by curfew might be to keep the current curfew and have it extended appropriately she gets older. If your child breaks curfew for avoidable reasons, then she gets her curfew moved up an hour or two for a certain period of time.
With a system in place your child isn't surprised to hear »you are grounded« for coming home a half hour late and you aren't deciding on an appropriate and logical punishment late at night when you may be upset, tired or angry. With a predefined rewards and consequences system in place, your child knows what the consequences of coming home late will be before she even sets her foot through the door.
The author shows you how to get your children to behave without nagging, getting upset, pleading, bargaining, or screaming. Amazingly, it really works.